I went to the shrink today

I'm saying this back here because I'm a chickenshit. Man, I behave like a spoiled baby! What part of me wanted to sick Molyneux and Ron on each other? What the hell was that?

As to the therapy session, I just blatted all my fears and worries and guilts all over the guy. I couldn't get 'em all in in one hour, actually. Basically that was just the poor sod's introduction to me.

I diagnosed myself as a narcissist. He said we'd talk about that next time.

I'm still not quite clear on how the payment for this works.

Here's something philistinish

The song, "Love is the Answer," has been running through my mind a lot for the last month or so. It came to mind first when I was watching this 9-11 Truther on YouTube, though then it was ironic (my intention in singing it), because the guy was pushing some kind of New Age religion. Now that I'm checking out Stefan Molyneux, though, it keeps coming back.

It's late. Remind me to dig up some links for you. OK, I found some, though I still have to get the YouTube links. And work in Alice Miller while I'm at it. Molyneux talks about her book, The Drama of the Gifted Child, which I haven't been able to find at the local bookstores, new or used, but I think she may just have said the most important thing she has to say right here. I mean, important for you and me, right now.

Here are the lyrics (edited by me):
LOVE IS THE ANSWER
England Dan & John Ford Coley

Name your price
A ticket to paradise
I can't stay here any more
And I've looked high and low
I've been from shore to shore to shore
If there's a short cut I'd have found it
But there is no easy way around it

Light of the world, shine on me
Love is the answer
Shine on us all
Set us free
Love is the answer

Who knows why
Someday we all must die
We're all homeless boys and girls
And we are never heard
It's such a lonely, lonely, lonely world
People turn their heads
And walk on by
Tell me is it worth just another try

Light of the world, shine on me
Love is the answer
Shine on us all
Set us free
Love is the answer

Are we alive
Or just a dying planet
What are the chances
Ask the man in your heart for the answers

And when you feel afraid
Love one another
When you've lost your way
Love one another
And when you're all alone
Love one another
And when you're far from home
Love one another
And when you're down and out
Love one another
And when your hopes run out
Love one another
And when you need a friend
Love one another
And when you're near the end
We got to love one another

Light of the world, shine on me
Love is the answer
Shine on us all
Set us free
Love is the answer

Light of the world, shine on me
Love is the answer
Shine on us all
Set us free
Love is the answer

For some reason, they've got Todd Rundgren singing it here.

Here's my cat

The pic's from last Christmas, but I was just digging through the old files and I thought this was a great one. That's me she's sitting on. She won't sit on anyone else.

They're starting the creative round of layoffs at work.

They didn't get me on this round, but it's early yet. I noticed some preliminary leading indicators of an upswing coming (I forget what, I just remember having the thought - somebody's buying something or other). But it all depends on how the gov't - intentionally or not - screws things up.

The Mises guys are predicting hyperinflation.

Well! We can get on with that bourgeois lifestyle, then!

My piece of the stimulus bill:

wireless and broadband deployment grant programs

(including transfer of funds to Al Erkkila for the Al Erkkila Personal Economic Stimulus Program)

For necessary and unnecessary expenses related to the Wireless and Broadband Deployment Grant Programs established by section 6002 of division B of this Act, $2,825,000,000, of which $1,000,000,000 shall be for Wireless Deployment Grants and $1,825,000,000 shall be for Broadband Deployment Grants: Provided, That an additional $365,000,000 shall be paid directly to Al Erkkila in the form of subsidized loans that do not require repayment. Provided Further, That the funds be used by Al Erkkila to retire to the Bahamas or for whatever. Provided Even Further, That Al Erkkila will receive free Green Bay Packers tickets for life. Provided Even Further Still, That Al Erkkila shall be treated as a cabinet-level appointment for the purpose of income tax reporting, and therefore no taxes shall be paid on any of the aformentioned benefits. And one more thing: Barney Frank is hereby expelled from Congress, effective immediately upon enactment.

H/T Mr. Pt.

Get yours here.

Recent pix of the kids

I was just going through the picture files and found a good one of Rosie back at Christmas in Mom's kitchen:





And here's Aliina celebrating the first nice day of the year. I call it Scotch Scarlett:

I made a slide show video with Media Maker last night.

They're just stills of my nieces wedding. I posted some of the pictures before, but let's try this anyway.

So that's my first video editing effort (ever).

I also made my first powerpoint presentation ever, tonight. If I can figure out how to post that here, I will. I just jumbled a lot of crap together, so it ain't no great shakes.

I wanted to make my own video, but I can't figure out how to connect my video camera to my computer. In fact, in the directions, it says it might not work. That's kinda discouraging.

Update: She had a baby the other day! They named him Mitchell.

It's a deep expression of love, respect and support for a family member who's having a hell of a bad time.

It made me cry.

New movies you say?

Just so you don't get your hopes up, I'll list the flix first, so you can decide whether you really want to keep reading:

UHF
Dodgeball
Madagascar II
The Penguins of Madagascar

And last weekend we got

I am Legend
Minority Report and
Shenandoah

Did I say "new"? I meant new to me. I'll try to give each one at least three sentences:

UHF: I'd seen it on cable back when we had it. I didn't expect much from it; I figured it'd be dumb, but I laughed out loud quite a lot. Weird Al isn't much of a dramatic actor but he writes some funny stuff. The whole is better than the separate clips available on YouTube. I bought it because my daughter had been watching those.

It came double packed with

Dodgeball: I figured, "What the hell! People talked about it quite a bit, and it's cheap. Why not?" The old geezer coach (Rip Torn! Of all people!) cracked me up. And if that's not Ben Stiller's natural personality (God, I hope not!), he's one of the best actors of our generation.

The chick's hot, too.

You'll notice that I got Madagascar II and Penguins together as well (you can't be bourgeois if you're not cheap). I'm going to cheat and review them together as well. Hilarious, the lot of 'em. I don't know who Danny Jacobs is, other than the voice of King Julien, but there's another guy (along with Stiller) who's not afraid to make a complete jackass of himself for the sake of art.

The wife gave me I am Legend and Minority Report for Valentine's Day. [I love you too, Hunny Bunny!] Both of them deserve more than three sentences, but I'm lazy, so:

I am Legend: I suppose everybody knows by now that this is a repriese of the same story The Omega Man is based on. This one's a touch better, though I think Charlton Heston did a heckuva job on the older move. Will Smith is a mere five years younger than I am, (plus one month and eleven days, ignoring the two leap days)... He's 40, man! Close enough to my age, all right!?

Unfortunately, since the kids were watching it with me, I had to downplay the scary parts.

Minority Report: good action/adventure. Interesting special effects. Up there with Cruise's Mission Impossible.

Does that count as three sentences? Three fragments? It deserves better, but...well, you know.

Is it saving the best for last to put Shenandoah here? It's probably the deepest story, though there was a fair amount of schlock in it. Anderson is a very sympathetic character to me, but...didn't Sheridan burn that whole valley to the ground in 1864? They went a little easy on the Yanks, if you ask me.

But I enjoyed the speech.

Well, I didn't do anything this weekend

I slept all day Saturday (after I took down the Christmas tree and hauled it out to the curb). Today I went to church, then I watched the Arizona Cardinals beat the Philadelphia Eagles and the Pittsburg Steelers beat the Baltimore Ravens. During the commercials I watched my new DVD Nietzsche and the Nazis.

Kelley Ross has written a review of it, Nietzsche and the Nazis, with some strong arguments against Dr. Stephen Hicks' "personal view," which inspired me to get the DVD and view it for myself.

Here's Ross' conclusion:

Hicks is confused enough about morality that he agrees with Nietzsche on the "slave revolt," and this serves to vindicate the influence, which he mentions himself, that Nietzsche had on Ayn Rand. This merely serves to illuminate the failings and oversights of Randite ethics. Nietzsche and the Nazis would be much better if Hicks were not carrying water for the peculiarities of Ayn Rand's own defense of liberalism and capitalism. By apparently agreeing with Nietzsche's denigration of Jewish and Christian compassion and charity, Hicks in truth burdens his case for freedom, democracy, liberalism, and capitalism with a weakness that the enemies of all these, today principally on the Left (but also in Islamic Fascism), have never hesitated to exploit. Politically, leftist rhetoric is still, even in America, much more pervasive and effective than any defense of the free market or private property.

Nevertheless, despite these tendentious weaknesses, and the peculiarity of its structure, Nietzsche and the Nazis is a valuable and, on the whole, impressive work. That Nietzsche was not an individualist and that the Nazis were socialists are points that seriously need arguing against other admirers of Nietzsche, on the former point, and against those who, on the latter point, promote the leftist interpretation of fascism as a form of capitalism. Hicks does this all effectively, even as he performs the valuable historical service of preserving and expounding what the ideology of the Nazi regime actually was, and the reasons why a great many Germans really supported it. We should not forget that the eugenics movement in the United States was not completely discredited until it was obvious what the Nazis had done, faithfully, with such ideas. At the same time, the attraction of Nietzsche for Stephen Hicks himself is evidence for the thesis that intellectually serious people, whether Nazis or not, can believe this stuff.

Emphases and links are in the original.

I must say, I didn't find the Randian touches particularly disagreeable, but, then, I've been tempering my Objectivism with Ross's insights for a number of years now. I won't feel very qualified to argue against Dr. Ross until I finally get around to finishing one of Kant's books - or, rather, several. The impression I got of Kant from my college course on him (called Romanticism and Alienation, and it wasn't exclusively about Kant, we also surveyed Fichte, Hegel, Schilling and some other German Idealists - my paper was, more or less, "Fichte and the Nazis"; I think I got a B- on it)...

Oops! Digression!

Anyway, my impression of Kant from that class was that he deserved both barrels of what Ayn Rand fired at him. It is Ross who got me to reconsider. The trouble is, I'd rather read Ross than Kant or Schopenhauer.

I know that the points Ross goes on about in his review, even with his forewarning, aren't ones in which I feel much of a personal stake, so I found it difficult to get as worked up over them as he did when I watched the movie (the first time, without the football games). I've read four books on Hitler, including Mein Kampf and The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich, and thirty or fourty on World War II, visited Dachau, stayed for two and a half weeks with a former SS soldier and been otherwise inundated with information about that epoch... You'd think I'd be tough to impress on that subject... But I was impressed with Hicks' presentation of the similarities and differences between Naziism and Nietzsheanism.

And, of course, I am interested in the comparison of Hicks' achievement with my own.

Update: Aha! Now I see a bit more clearly.

Honor the Earth: Impacted Nations: a traveling art show

[Feel free to skip the next post down. But if you do read it, remember, I like to make Grumpy Old Man jokes (I'm talking about my intro), so while I try not to distort the truth, read some humor into it. I'm no Dana Carvey, but I think I'm funny anyway.]

I took some pictures of the artworks on display at work. I thought you'd be interested. I think it's good stuff that deserves to be advertised. Go see an exhibit.

I don't know that these two are necessarily my favorites (the picture is, but there are a lot of close seconds), but I wanted to show a couple of pieces to indicate the variety of works on display. There is also a blanket called "Peace and Friendship Forever?" depicting some of the promises America has made and broken with the indians.

Oh, I see the "Media Coverage" links, at the bottom of the page I've linked in my title, take you to more images from the show. And here's that blanket, though there is a LOT of detail that doesn't show in that picture. I'm not showing the picture that I have because I didn't want to shrink it down to a bloggable size. I wouldn't want to do that without permission anyway. I got to that page via the "Artwork, Artist Statements and Biographies" link on the main page.







I've been sitting here for a half hour, trying to distill my thoughts about my ancestors and ancestry, the present state of indian/white relations, the meanings of the artworks... A lot of thoughts... Some of my ancestors may have been involved in oppressing others of my ancestors... All the misunderstandings and warmaking.

Oh! I've been there! On top of some of those peaks! What he describes, in the artist's statement...you feel it.

Well... Shall I be a true philistine now and smash the reverie?

No. I won't. Real life will do that soon enough. Indeed that's what a lot of the exhibit is about.

I took that damn IPIP-NEO test

I don't much care for their interpretation of my current opinions about my current job performance as meaning that I'm lazy and do shoddy work. No, I'm unambitious, bored *&%^less, angry at myself and some of my family members that I find myself in this situation... But! The customers are not now and have never been the problem; I treat them as human-beings with dignity and needs that I know how to fulfill. Work is the one place where I can make a perfect product without interference from a bunch of smart-ass kibitzers - indeed, due to the lack thereof.

I may not have been sufficiently honest about my anger levels, or perhaps, didn't relate the questions about my anger level to the questions about my work performance.

With that cheery introduction, here are my results. Oops, wiped out the formatting, let's see if I can edit it. Here:
http://www.personal.psu.edu/faculty/j/5/j5j/IPIP/ipipneo300.htm ">IPIP-NEO Narrative Report

This report compares Alekiller [I thought that was a clever semi-anagram for my name] from the country USA to other adult men. (The name used in this report is either a nickname chosen by the person taking the test, or, if a valid nickname was not chosen, a random nickname generated by the program.)
This report estimates the individual's level on each of the five broad personality domains of the Five-Factor Model. The description of each one of the five broad domains is followed by a more detailed description of personality according to the six subdomains that comprise each domain.

A note on terminology. Personality traits describe, relative to other people, the frequency or intensity of a person's feelings, thoughts, or behaviors. Possession of a trait is therefore a matter of degree. We might describe two individuals as extraverts, but still see one as more extraverted than the other. This report uses expressions such as "extravert" or "high in extraversion" to describe someone who is likely to be seen by others as relatively extraverted. The computer program that generates this report classifies you as low, average, or high in a trait according to whether your score is approximately in the lowest 30%, middle 40%, or highest 30% of scores obtained by people of your sex and roughly your age. Your numerical scores are reported and graphed as percentile estimates. For example, a score of "60" means that your level on that trait is estimated to be higher than 60% of persons of your sex and age.

Please keep in mind that "low," "average," and "high" scores on a personality test are neither absolutely good nor bad. A particular level on any trait will probably be neutral or irrelevant for a great many activites, be helpful for accomplishing some things, and detrimental for accomplishing other things. As with any personality inventory, scores and descriptions can only approximate an individual's actual personality. High and low score descriptions are usually accurate, but average scores close to the low or high boundaries might misclassify you as only average. On each set of six subdomain scales it is somewhat uncommon but certainly possible to score high in some of the subdomains and low in the others. In such cases more attention should be paid to the subdomain scores than to the broad domain score. Questions about the accuracy of your results are best resolved by showing your report to people who know you well.

John A. Johnson wrote descriptions of the five domains and thirty subdomains. These descriptions are based on an extensive reading of the scientific literature on personality measurement. Although Dr. Johnson would like to be acknowledged as the author of these materials if they are reproduced, he has placed them in the public domain.

Extraversion

Extraversion is marked by pronounced engagement with the external world. Extraverts enjoy being with people, are full of energy, and often experience positive emotions. They tend to be enthusiastic, action-oriented, individuals who are likely to say "Yes!" or "Let's go!" to opportunities for excitement. In groups they like to talk, assert themselves, and draw attention to themselves.

Introverts lack the exuberance, energy, and activity levels of extraverts. They tend to be quiet, low-key, deliberate, and disengaged from the social world. Their lack of social involvement should not be interpreted as shyness or depression; the introvert simply needs less stimulation than an extravert and prefers to be alone. The independence and reserve of the introvert is sometimes mistaken as unfriendliness or arrogance. In reality, an introvert who scores high on the agreeableness dimension will not seek others out but will be quite pleasant when approached.

Domain/Facet........... Score 0--------10--------20--------30--------40--------50--------60--------70--------80--------90--------99
EXTRAVERSION...............10 **********
..Friendliness.............24 ************************
..Gregariousness...........31 *******************************
..Assertiveness............0
..Activity Level...........14 **************
..Excitement-Seeking.......55 *******************************************************
..Cheerfulness.............11 ***********

Your score on Extraversion is low, indicating you are introverted, reserved, and quiet. You enjoy solitude and solitary activities. Your socializing tends to be restricted to a few close friends.

Extraversion Facets

• Friendliness. Friendly people genuinely like other people and openly demonstrate positive feelings toward others. They make friends quickly and it is easy for them to form close, intimate relationships. Low scorers on Friendliness are not necessarily cold and hostile, but they do not reach out to others and are perceived as distant and reserved. Your level of friendliness is low.
• Gregariousness. Gregarious people find the company of others pleasantly stimulating and rewarding. They enjoy the excitement of crowds. Low scorers tend to feel overwhelmed by, and therefore actively avoid, large crowds. They do not necessarily dislike being with people sometimes, but their need for privacy and time to themselves is much greater than for individuals who score high on this scale. Your level of gregariousness is low.
• Assertiveness. High scorers Assertiveness like to speak out, take charge, and direct the activities of others. They tend to be leaders in groups. Low scorers tend not to talk much and let others control the activities of groups. Your level of assertiveness is low.
• Activity Level. Active individuals lead fast-paced, busy lives. They move about quickly, energetically, and vigorously, and they are involved in many activities. People who score low on this scale follow a slower and more leisurely, relaxed pace. Your activity level is low.
• Excitement-Seeking. High scorers on this scale are easily bored without high levels of stimulation. They love bright lights and hustle and bustle. They are likely to take risks and seek thrills. Low scorers are overwhelmed by noise and commotion and are adverse to thrill-seeking. Your level of excitement-seeking is average.
• Cheerfulness. This scale measures positive mood and feelings, not negative emotions (which are a part of the Neuroticism domain). Persons who score high on this scale typically experience a range of positive feelings, including happiness, enthusiasm, optimism, and joy. Low scorers are not as prone to such energetic, high spirits. Your level of positive emotions is low.

Agreeableness

Agreeableness reflects individual differences in concern with cooperation and social harmony. Agreeable individuals value getting along with others. They are therefore considerate, friendly, generous, helpful, and willing to compromise their interests with others'. Agreeable people also have an optimistic view of human nature. They believe people are basically honest, decent, and trustworthy.

Disagreeable individuals place self-interest above getting along with others. They are generally unconcerned with others' well-being, and therefore are unlikely to extend themselves for other people. Sometimes their skepticism about others' motives causes them to be suspicious, unfriendly, and uncooperative.

Agreeableness is obviously advantageous for attaining and maintaining popularity. Agreeable people are better liked than disagreeable people. On the other hand, agreeableness is not useful in situations that require tough or absolute objective decisions. Disagreeable people can make excellent scientists, critics, or soldiers.


Domain/Facet........... Score 0--------10--------20--------30--------40--------50--------60--------70--------80--------90--------99
AGREEABLENESS..............45 *********************************************
..Trust....................70 **********************************************************************
..Morality.................59 ***********************************************************
..Altruism.................16 ****************
..Cooperation..............46 **********************************************
..Modesty..................62 **************************************************************
..Sympathy.................23 ***********************

Your level of Agreeableness is average, indicating some concern with others' Needs, but, generally, unwillingness to sacrifice yourself for others.

Agreeableness Facets

• Trust. A person with high trust assumes that most people are fair, honest, and have good intentions. Persons low in trust see others as selfish, devious, and potentially dangerous. Your level of trust is high.
• Morality. High scorers on this scale see no need for pretense or manipulation when dealing with others and are therefore candid, frank, and sincere. Low scorers believe that a certain amount of deception in social relationships is necessary. People find it relatively easy to relate to the straightforward high-scorers on this scale. They generally find it more difficult to relate to the unstraightforward low-scorers on this scale. It should be made clear that low scorers are not unprincipled or immoral; they are simply more guarded and less willing to openly reveal the whole truth. Your level of morality is average.
• Altruism. Altruistic people find helping other people genuinely rewarding. Consequently, they are generally willing to assist those who are in need. Altruistic people find that doing things for others is a form of self-fulfillment rather than self-sacrifice. Low scorers on this scale do not particularly like helping those in need. Requests for help feel like an imposition rather than an opportunity for self-fulfillment. Your level of altruism is low.
• Cooperation. Individuals who score high on this scale dislike confrontations. They are perfectly willing to compromise or to deny their own needs in order to get along with others. Those who score low on this scale are more likely to intimidate others to get their way. Your level of compliance is average.
• Modesty. High scorers on this scale do not like to claim that they are better than other people. In some cases this attitude may derive from low self-confidence or self-esteem. Nonetheless, some people with high self-esteem find immodesty unseemly. Those who are willing to describe themselves as superior tend to be seen as disagreeably arrogant by other people. Your level of modesty is average.
• Sympathy. People who score high on this scale are tenderhearted and compassionate. They feel the pain of others vicariously and are easily moved to pity. Low scorers are not affected strongly by human suffering. They pride themselves on making objective judgments based on reason. They are more concerned with truth and impartial justice than with mercy. Your level of tender-mindedness is low.

Conscientiousness

Conscientiousness concerns the way in which we control, regulate, and direct our impulses. Impulses are not inherently bad; occasionally time constraints require a snap decision, and acting on our first impulse can be an effective response. Also, in times of play rather than work, acting spontaneously and impulsively can be fun. Impulsive individuals can be seen by others as colorful, fun-to-be-with, and zany.

Nonetheless, acting on impulse can lead to trouble in a number of ways. Some impulses are antisocial. Uncontrolled antisocial acts not only harm other members of society, but also can result in retribution toward the perpetrator of such impulsive acts. Another problem with impulsive acts is that they often produce immediate rewards but undesirable, long-term consequences. Examples include excessive socializing that leads to being fired from one's job, hurling an insult that causes the breakup of an important relationship, or using pleasure-inducing drugs that eventually destroy one's health.

Impulsive behavior, even when not seriously destructive, diminishes a person's effectiveness in significant ways. Acting impulsively disallows contemplating alternative courses of action, some of which would have been wiser than the impulsive choice. Impulsivity also sidetracks people during projects that require organized sequences of steps or stages. Accomplishments of an impulsive person are therefore small, scattered, and inconsistent.

A hallmark of intelligence, what potentially separates human beings from earlier life forms, is the ability to think about future consequences before acting on an impulse. Intelligent activity involves contemplation of long-range goals, organizing and planning routes to these goals, and persisting toward one's goals in the face of short-lived impulses to the contrary. The idea that intelligence involves impulse control is nicely captured by the term prudence, an alternative label for the Conscientiousness domain. Prudent means both wise and cautious. Persons who score high on the Conscientiousness scale are, in fact, perceived by others as intelligent.

The benefits of high conscientiousness are obvious. Conscientious individuals avoid trouble and achieve high levels of success through purposeful planning and persistence. They are also positively regarded by others as intelligent and reliable. On the negative side, they can be compulsive perfectionists and workaholics. Furthermore, extremely conscientious individuals might be regarded as stuffy and boring. Unconscientious people may be criticized for their unreliability, lack of ambition, and failure to stay within the lines, but they will experience many short-lived pleasures and they will never be called stuffy.

Domain/Facet........... Score 0--------10--------20--------30--------40--------50--------60--------70--------80--------90--------99
CONSCIENTIOUSNESS..........23 ***********************
..Self-Efficacy............27 ***************************
..Orderliness..............54 ******************************************************
..Dutifulness..............39 ***************************************
..Achievement-Striving.....1 *
..Self-Discipline..........32 ********************************
..Cautiousness.............33 *********************************

Your score on Conscientiousness is low, indicating you like to live for the moment and do what feels good now. Your work tends to be careless and disorganized.

Conscientiousness Facets

• Self-Efficacy. Self-Efficacy describes confidence in one's ability to accomplish things. High scorers believe they have the intelligence (common sense), drive, and self-control necessary for achieving success. Low scorers do not feel effective, and may have a sense that they are not in control of their lives. Your level of self-efficacy is low.
• Orderliness. Persons with high scores on orderliness are well-organized. They like to live according to routines and schedules. They keep lists and make plans. Low scorers tend to be disorganized and scattered. Your level of orderliness is average.
• Dutifulness. This scale reflects the strength of a person's sense of duty and obligation. Those who score high on this scale have a strong sense of moral obligation. Low scorers find contracts, rules, and regulations overly confining. They are likely to be seen as unreliable or even irresponsible. Your level of dutifulness is average.
• Achievement-Striving. Individuals who score high on this scale strive hard to achieve excellence. Their drive to be recognized as successful keeps them on track toward their lofty goals. They often have a strong sense of direction in life, but extremely high scores may be too single-minded and obsessed with their work. Low scorers are content to get by with a minimal amount of work, and might be seen by others as lazy. Your level of achievement striving is low.
• Self-Discipline. Self-discipline-what many people call will-power-refers to the ability to persist at difficult or unpleasant tasks until they are completed. People who possess high self-discipline are able to overcome reluctance to begin tasks and stay on track despite distractions. Those with low self-discipline procrastinate and show poor follow-through, often failing to complete tasks-even tasks they want very much to complete. Your level of self-discipline is low.
• Cautiousness. Cautiousness describes the disposition to think through possibilities before acting. High scorers on the Cautiousness scale take their time when making decisions. Low scorers often say or do first thing that comes to mind without deliberating alternatives and the probable consequences of those alternatives. Your level of cautiousness is average.

Neuroticism

Freud originally used the term neurosis to describe a condition marked by mental distress, emotional suffering, and an inability to cope effectively with the normal demands of life. He suggested that everyone shows some signs of neurosis, but that we differ in our degree of suffering and our specific symptoms of distress. Today neuroticism refers to the tendency to experience negative feelings. Those who score high on Neuroticism may experience primarily one specific negative feeling such as anxiety, anger, or depression, but are likely to experience several of these emotions. People high in neuroticism are emotionally reactive. They respond emotionally to events that would not affect most people, and their reactions tend to be more intense than normal. They are more likely to interpret ordinary situations as threatening, and minor frustrations as hopelessly difficult. Their negative emotional reactions tend to persist for unusually long periods of time, which means they are often in a bad mood. These problems in emotional regulation can diminish a neurotic's ability to think clearly, make decisions, and cope effectively with stress.

At the other end of the scale, individuals who score low in neuroticism are less easily upset and are less emotionally reactive. They tend to be calm, emotionally stable, and free from persistent negative feelings. Freedom from negative feelings does not mean that low scorers experience a lot of positive feelings; frequency of positive emotions is a component of the Extraversion domain.

Domain/Facet........... Score 0--------10--------20--------30--------40--------50--------60--------70--------80--------90--------99
NEUROTICISM................89 *****************************************************************************************
..Anxiety..................56 ********************************************************
..Anger....................38 **************************************
..Depression...............89 *****************************************************************************************
..Self-Consciousness.......99 ***************************************************************************************************
..Immoderation.............99 ***************************************************************************************************
..Vulnerability............82 **********************************************************************************

Your score on Neuroticism is high, indicating that you are easily upset, even by what most people consider the normal demands of living. People consider you to be sensitive and emotional.

Neuroticism Facets

• Anxiety. The "fight-or-flight" system of the brain of anxious individuals is too easily and too often engaged. Therefore, people who are high in anxiety often feel like something dangerous is about to happen. They may be afraid of specific situations or be just generally fearful. They feel tense, jittery, and nervous. Persons low in Anxiety are generally calm and fearless. Your level of anxiety is average.
• Anger. Persons who score high in Anger feel enraged when things do not go their way. They are sensitive about being treated fairly and feel resentful and bitter when they feel they are being cheated. This scale measures the tendency to feel angry; whether or not the person expresses annoyance and hostility depends on the individual's level on Agreeableness. Low scorers do not get angry often or easily. Your level of anger is average.
• Depression. This scale measures the tendency to feel sad, dejected, and discouraged. High scorers lack energy and have difficult initiating activities. Low scorers tend to be free from these depressive feelings. Your level of depression is high.
• Self-Consciousness. Self-conscious individuals are sensitive about what others think of them. Their concern about rejection and ridicule cause them to feel shy and uncomfortable abound others. They are easily embarrassed and often feel ashamed. Their fears that others will criticize or make fun of them are exaggerated and unrealistic, but their awkwardness and discomfort may make these fears a self-fulfilling prophecy. Low scorers, in contrast, do not suffer from the mistaken impression that everyone is watching and judging them. They do not feel nervous in social situations. Your level or self-consciousness is high.
• Immoderation. Immoderate individuals feel strong cravings and urges that they have have difficulty resisting. They tend to be oriented toward short-term pleasures and rewards rather than long- term consequences. Low scorers do not experience strong, irresistible cravings and consequently do not find themselves tempted to overindulge. Your level of immoderation is high.
• Vulnerability. High scorers on Vulnerability experience panic, confusion, and helplessness when under pressure or stress. Low scorers feel more poised, confident, and clear-thinking when stressed. Your level of vulnerability is high.

Openness to Experience

Openness to Experience describes a dimension of cognitive style that distinguishes imaginative, creative people from down-to-earth, conventional people. Open people are intellectually curious, appreciative of art, and sensitive to beauty. They tend to be, compared to closed people, more aware of their feelings. They tend to think and act in individualistic and nonconforming ways. Intellectuals typically score high on Openness to Experience; consequently, this factor has also been called Culture or Intellect. Nonetheless, Intellect is probably best regarded as one aspect of openness to experience. Scores on Openness to Experience are only modestly related to years of education and scores on standard intelligent tests.

Another characteristic of the open cognitive style is a facility for thinking in symbols and abstractions far removed from concrete experience. Depending on the individual's specific intellectual abilities, this symbolic cognition may take the form of mathematical, logical, or geometric thinking, artistic and metaphorical use of language, music composition or performance, or one of the many visual or performing arts. People with low scores on openness to experience tend to have narrow, common interests. They prefer the plain, straightforward, and obvious over the complex, ambiguous, and subtle. They may regard the arts and sciences with suspicion, regarding these endeavors as abstruse or of no practical use. Closed people prefer familiarity over novelty; they are conservative and resistant to change.

Openness is often presented as healthier or more mature by psychologists, who are often themselves open to experience. However, open and closed styles of thinking are useful in different environments. The intellectual style of the open person may serve a professor well, but research has shown that closed thinking is related to superior job performance in police work, sales, and a number of service occupations.

Domain/Facet........... Score 0--------10--------20--------30--------40--------50--------60--------70--------80--------90--------99
OPENNESS TO EXPERIENCE.....60 ************************************************************
..Imagination..............87 ***************************************************************************************
..Artistic Interests.......89 *****************************************************************************************
..Emotionality.............27 ***************************
..Adventurousness..........51 ***************************************************
..Intellect................71 ***********************************************************************
..Liberalism...............14 **************

Your score on Openness to Experience is average, indicating you enjoy tradition but are willing to try new things. Your thinking is neither simple nor complex. To others you appear to be a well-educated person but not an intellectual.

Openness Facets

• Imagination. To imaginative individuals, the real world is often too plain and ordinary. High scorers on this scale use fantasy as a way of creating a richer, more interesting world. Low scorers are on this scale are more oriented to facts than fantasy. Your level of imagination is high.

• Artistic Interests. High scorers on this scale love beauty, both in art and in nature. They become easily involved and absorbed in artistic and natural events. They are not necessarily artistically trained nor talented, although many will be. The defining features of this scale are interest in, and appreciation of natural and artificial beauty. Low scorers lack aesthetic sensitivity and interest in the arts. Your level of artistic interests is high.

• Emotionality. Persons high on Emotionality have good access to and awareness of their own feelings. Low scorers are less aware of their feelings and tend not to express their emotions openly. Your level of emotionality is low.

• Adventurousness. High scorers on adventurousness are eager to try new activities, travel to foreign lands, and experience different things. They find familiarity and routine boring, and will take a new route home just because it is different. Low scorers tend to feel uncomfortable with change and prefer familiar routines. Your level of adventurousness is average.

• Intellect. Intellect and artistic interests are the two most important, central aspects of openness to experience. High scorers on Intellect love to play with ideas. They are open-minded to new and unusual ideas, and like to debate intellectual issues. They enjoy riddles, puzzles, and brain teasers. Low scorers on Intellect prefer dealing with either people or things rather than ideas. They regard intellectual exercises as a waste of time. Intellect should not be equated with intelligence. Intellect is an intellectual style, not an intellectual ability, although high scorers on Intellect score slightly higher than low-Intellect individuals on standardized intelligence tests. Your level of intellect is high.

• Liberalism. Psychological liberalism refers to a readiness to challenge authority, convention, and traditional values. In its most extreme form, psychological liberalism can even represent outright hostility toward rules, sympathy for law-breakers, and love of ambiguity, chaos, and disorder. Psychological conservatives prefer the security and stability brought by conformity to tradition. Psychological liberalism and conservatism are not identical to political affiliation, but certainly incline individuals toward certain political parties. Your level of liberalism is low.

The questions were about criminals, not lawbreakers. I differentiate between the two. Some laws are criminal.

After that crack, TF

I'm going to have to post some pix of the Mormon rellies:

Wait, there's a boy missing... Oh, there he is with his Dad:

I can't really feel too guilty about invading their privacy or anything; they blog here. But, hey! If you go over there, don't be leavin' any snarky comments or anything: that's my niece and nephew, and, I guess, my great-niece and -nephew (Holy crap, I'm old!). And they're the nicest people in the world! Hopefully they think the same of me.

I don't want them feelin' the need to backtrack you back over here and find out what I'm really like.

Hey, doesn't my niece, here, look a lot like this gal?

Since it's, like, 15° out tonight

it seems like an appropriate time to post a couple pix of my niece's wedding in Muskogee, OK, from last June. (Okay, okay, I just found the old camera.)



Some of you may recognize the grizzled character in the first pic. Yup, Ron's alive and well. That's my mother and my Grandma behind Aliina, along with a bunch of cousins and Aunt Linda and Uncle Joe. I'm particularly fond of Aliina's pose in the second picture.

Oh, that's Aunt Paula, there, too (in the first pic). And that might be my sister, the bride's mother, up by my truck.

Hayley Westenra is a New Zealander, eh?

What an extraordinary talent she is! I found her in the Celtic Woman group and I was intrigued by the fact that she didn't seem to be with them all the time, so I had to find out what was up with that. She shows off her Kiwi accent at that site. Subtly different from Aussie - I can usually tell who's what between the two accents, but I couldn't tell you how.

The Wikipedia article says she's Dutch and Irish. I suppose, there must be Dutch people in a place called New Zealand. Westenra's a Frisian name.

I'll be picking up more of her stuff.

What? You don't think it's bourgeois to like a beautiful woman with a beautiful voice? I'd say "love," but there are...you know...implications.

What I did over the weekend

I'm somewhat proud of myself. Saturday, I put the pool away. It looked clean enough to me, but I did have to vacuum out all the leaves and the water. Then I pulled it out of the shade to dry in the sun. Then I rolled it into a ball twice the size of the box, jammed it in as best I could and stowed it in the shed.

Good enough.

I started to rake the front yard then, but I decided it'd be better just to run the bagging lawn-mower over it. Looks good.

Sunday we overslept for church. The wife started b... uh, nagging at 10:15. That's when we have to be in the car and on the street to get to church by 10:30. She was up at 8:00. Therefore she's virtuous and we're not.

You know what I'm thinking.

Anyway, well, the furnace hasn't been working this fall. The indicator light said everything was just dandy, but it wouldn't turn on. Laurie called Ron and handed the phone to me. Ron walked me through a bunch of tests and we got the bugger running. Well, I had to go to Menard's and get a new thermostat, but everything's working now.

More later.

Events lately

Two weekends ago, we went to the Pine City Fall Gathering. Last weekend we went up to the Inlaws lake place and this weekend I'm running the MTC Marathon.

That's the outline. Maybe I'll flesh it out when I'm not bummed out at losing the big game in Washington. Maybe these guys will help.

I suppose the people who still stop by here are aware

that my tagline, or whatever you call it, "Seeking transcendence one relationship at a time" is a bit of satire. But since nobody's mentioned it, I figured maybe I should say something.

Any suggestions for how I could make it funnier?

[Edit-5/16/2010: Good thing I quoted the tagline, eh? Since I changed it. It's actually quite a brilliant line. I think I changed it out of guilt.]

Oh, good. It's clearing up. (Not for the squeamish.)

[Before I get to that, remind me to say something about Snopes' Sarah Palin articles before the election. I've got that page sitting open now and I'm about to use it for something else.]

Yesterday was my last chance to take a really long run before the Marathon. I had the day off, so I decided to run down from the house here to Victory Memorial Parkway, south to Wirth Parkway to Cedar Lake Parkway and on over to Lake of the Isles. The whole route is just beautiful, except for the plain old city streets in this neighborhood.

Let's see if I can find some good images... Not so good of Memorial Pkwy, it was taken too early in the spring... Here's the Theo Wirth Golf Course as it will look a few weeks hence, I ran by that... I've gotta get a new digital camera. Somehow ours didn't make it back from Oklahoma. Oh! There's Brownie Lake! I like to look at that as I run by.

This guy's got some pix of the Cedar Lake Bike Highway. I run for a mile or so alongside that on the pedestrian path. And this pic is definitely Lake of the Isles, not Lake Calhoun. If you flip through those pix, there are several of Lake of the Isles. Calhoun is a big, round thing. Oh, this is better!

When I get a new digital camera, I'll post some good pictures.

Well, the run went just dandy, though it took me four and a half hours. I'm sure it was a full twenty miles, maybe a little more. Wouldn't want to peak too soon, don't you know. I was draggin' my a-- pretty bad by the time I got home. That was at 1:12, I started at 8:40 AM. It's been tough to train consistently this year, for the same reasons it's been tough to blog consistently. Some of the same reasons, anyway.

But... This is where the squeamish might want to turn away. I got in the shower and soaped up, when suddenly the call of nature became urgent enough, that I got out of the shower all soapy to take care of it. My pee was all red! Real red! And then I got nauseous and dizzy. I'm not sure if that was just squeamishness or if I had really lost that much blood... I feel exactly the same way if I watch someone take blood out of my arm, whether its a lot or a little. I can't watch that. Now I know what happens if I see it coming out of my you-know-what.

I still needed to rinse off the soap, but I was afraid of what might happen if I didn't sit down, so I sat down in the shower stall to rinse off. Thank God! Next thing I know, I'm at a party where everybody's talking and moving like a vidoetape on fast-forward, I open my eyes and can't figure out what the hell's going on or where I am. I was having such a nice nap, why do I have to get up now? What the...? Oh, I'm in the shower!

I'm still too soapy, the shower head is still in my hand so I finish rinsing; apparently I was in a stable position, I hadn't flopped over much... Now I have to get up and get the towel. Okay, that worked out OK, but I rushed through the drying and grabbed a pair of shorts in case my daughter, who was due home from school any minute now, walked in on me. Put the shorts on and went to the next room to flop on a mattress we have on the floor.

Then the doorbell rang. I'd locked her out.

The details get rather mundane after that. I read somewhere that blood in the urine is a common occurrence after a long run. Don't bother the doctor unless it persists longer than a day or two.

So, I guess I'll just monitor the situation for another day, and if I'm not happy with the progress, I'll go bug somebody about it.

So that's what's on my mind. How about you?

Welp, we stopped by the DQ on the way home tonight...

We bought a couple squishy burgers (bbq sandwishes) and a couple hotdogs and a load of Buster Bars... The wife's got a new job with the local school district and we were over helping her set up her room.

Speaking of jobs [and I usually don't, but] the SuperMegaCorp I work for just got bought by SUPERDUPERMEGACORP. Word is, there'll be no noticeable changes down at my end right away. We'll undoubtedly start seeing signs of reorganization inside a few months. I think I'll find it interesting to observe this process from the underside. Those who find my pro-business naivete irritating will be happy to hear that I'm potentially facing some hard schooling.

We've been having critter troubles lately.

A week ago last Friday, a squirrel managed to drown in our pool. So I got to pick him out (could have been a "her" for all I know - I'm pretty squeamish about looking, and I'm not well enough versed in squirrel parts to know if I could tell, anyway). Rigor mortis had set in, so it was like handling a little, furry statuette. That told me he'd been there awhile, but not too terribly long.

I bagged him up, and threw him in the dumpster. I forgot to say any words of condolence to his relatives. "He was a cute little guy..."

So we drained the pool, mopped it out and refilled it.

No sooner did we get that done, when my daughter comes down and informs me that we've got a raccoon on the back porch, eating the cat's food. The wife and I head out to scare it off and the bastard casually rips a hole in the screen and jumps out. So I put the windows back in and blocked the door with boards.

Next day, after church, we stopped at Fleet Farm and bought a live trap. I set it up by the porch, tossed in some cat food, and woke up Monday to find another cute little critter napping in the cage. I went back inside, put on some leather gloves and went out to haul him away. He'd rolled the cage on its side, so I had to roll it back. When I started to reach for it with my hand, the little bugger transmogrified into a demon, screamed and lunged at my fingers. Kinda took me aback. So I rolled the trap over with the bottom of my shoe. Got to see a couple more of those lunges. I picked up the cage and, carrying it out away from my side brought him around to the truck and loaded him in the back. I dropped him off in a park on the east side of the Mississippi. I don't think he'll find his way back.

Tuesday morning, before dawn, my wife and I are wakened by the screen porch door slamming and banging. Again. That was one of the symptoms of the previous feral burglar. I didn't do anything about it right then, except reboard the door, then I forgot about him until, late that night, when I was headed to bed I hear clattering and banging of the boards falling over. So I went roaring out the door... I think I had some kind of weapon, but I don't remember what. Fortunately, he hadn't quite made it in when I did that.

This time, I boarded, barred and blocked the door with every heavy thing I could find. He didn't come back that night.

I set up and baited the live trap again last night and woke to find another napping raccoon in it this morning. Hopefully, not the same one. Repeat of previous performance, but this time I took the litter p----rhead out east of 35W, just in case it was, indeed the same one and he knew the route from the park across the river straight back to my house.

I feel a little bad about something, though. All my friends are hunters and trappers (and fishermen, though that's beside the point), and I'm none of those things. I'm itching to get a pelt. I've never seen a litter of 'coons with less than three...I think the term is "kits."

The sibling or parent of those two twerps better keep that in mind.